Bruce “Caitlin” Jenner: “Hero”, Troubled Soul, or Sideshow Attraction?


This is a Hero.

This is a Hero.

This is NOT.

This is NOT.

Several years ago, as I was applying for a job as the manager of a gas station, which also sold fried chicken, like every other candidate, I was handed a questionnaire to fill out.

Now, this was a standard questionnaire. It was like every other one that I had seen, except it was around 32 pages long. Or, at least it seemed to be.

One of the questions on that long, long form, asked me who did I consider to be my “hero”.

That took me aback for a moment, and then, I answered, Jesus Christ.

A “hero”, by definition, is someone who does something out of the ordinary, or takes extraordinary measures, to save lives, and/or make the world a better place to live in.

Of course, I did not get the job, as I probably freaked them out. But, I was being totally honest, as Jesus Christ is not only my personal Savior, but he is my Hero, for saving me.

That same Amazing Grace is no less available for Bruce Jenner.

Now, from the sublime to the ridiculous…

I, like you, have been inundated over the last several days, with news story after news story about the transformation of an Olympic Decathlon Gold Medal Winner , into American Popular Culture’s “Brave New Hero…err…Heroine…err…Transvestite”.

Ohhh…forget it.

Quite frankly, when Bruce Jenner won the 1976 Olympic Decathlon, he became a hero to a lot of American boys. His sudden fame, as everyone knows, got him on a box of Wheaties, got him television appearances, and even got him a movie role, starring in that awful Village People movie, “You Can’t Stop the Music”, which actually turned out to be an ironic title for that movie, because that catastrophe of a cinematic experience, almost single-handedly stopped the Disco era.

But, I digress…

Jenner once again became a celebrity in the last several years through his marriage to the matriarch of the Kardashian Clan, Kris, which, in turn, spawned a trainwreck of a television series titled, “Kepping Up With the Kardashians”, a series which followed the trials and tribulations of the blended family of the Kardashians and the Jenners.

Women tuned in to the series, because, somehow, they escaped their hum-drum lives by empathizing with the out-of-control, self-gratifying, hedonistic lifestyles of the Kardashians and Jenners.

Plus, their mates got to see the Kardashian sisters nekkid (as Jeff Foxworthy would say) on a regular basis…or, at least as much as television allows nowadays.

Eventually, though, all “good” things must come to an end, and so it was with Bruce Jenner’s marriage to Kris Kardashian.

As they did all during the television series, the paparazzi followed Bruce, after the divorce, wherever he went.

Finally, the gossip television shows and websites trumpeted that Bruce Jenner was going to have a sex change, and that the masculine image, which the Olympic Decathlon Winner  had shown the public all these years, was nothing but a mask, and that there was a woman inside of Bruce Jenner that just had to get out.

I wish she had stayed in there.

“Caitlin” Jenner made her triumphant appearance on this month’s cover of Vanity Fair magazine, featuring him/ her/it in a white dress with makeup on, showing off some newly-installed cleavage.

A publicity stunt, which both of paparazzi and all those on the Left Side of the Political Aisle, immediately hailed as bold, brilliant, and heroic.

Are you kidding me?

As I stated before, a hero is someone who does something to save somebody’s life or lives and/or to make the world better.

A hero does not do something for money or publicity, which is why I think that Jenner pulled this stunt, quite honestly.

He knew that Liberals would jump on this like ugly on an ape….and, he is reaping the benefits of his renewed celebrity status, both monetarily and egotistically.

Additionally, he has now become the poster boy… err.. girl for the latest cause celebre, LGBT Rights.

Bruce Jenner is no hero. For that matter, neither is Caitlin, his alter ego.

The Old Timers would have called him a “Glory Hound”.

My late Daddy would have been very confused, as he was in the middle of Old Country Buffet, in his late 70s, one night at dinner, when my sister and I told him that the person that he saw bussing the table in front of us was not really a girl, but a guy, because you could tell by the Adam’s apple. In response, he declared loudly,

That can’t be a guy. He’s got headlights!

Back in his day, the “King of the Humbugs”, PT Barnum, would have offered Jenner money to be a sideshow attraction.

Come to think of it… that’s exactly what Vanity Fair did.

In conclusion, in my opinion, Bruce “Caitlin” Jenner is not that brave.

Everything he has done to himself, is reversible.

His new chassis is only completed from the waist up.

Now, boys and girls, please excuse me. I have to go hurl.

Until He Comes,



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